Interested in dating in college but not sure how to get started?
These are some of the best college dating tips I have found after playing the field my freshman and sophomore year at university…
So much changes when you go to college. You have new-found independence, you are more responsible for your life, and dating is a whole new ball game!
While relationships are still meant to be fun in college, they can be more mature and more heartfelt.
Forget the petty drama that consumed you and your friend group in highschool, and realize that you are now taking a step into the next phase of life.
Dating in college will not be anything like dating in high school, so here are some of the best tips for dating in college, to prepare you for what to expect, and how to handle it all!
DATING IN COLLEGE TIPS
You Can Make The First Move
There is absolutely nothing wrong with making the first move, especially if you are female. In school this seems to be taboo – but in college, you will be around mature, forward-thinking peers, and it will probably be an appreciated action.
The worst that could happen is they say no, and at least you can pat yourself on the back and say you were brave enough to try.
Most guys are fairly clueless on how to approach a woman, so if you don’t make the first move, and they are too nervous to, you might never meet!
Now, I’m not now (or ever!) suggesting you chase men. I am, however, suggesting you not be shy about your intentions.
If the guy is interested, he will match your efforts. If you made it obvious you have a thing for him and he doesn’t take initiative, NEXT.
Make Your Ideal Trait List
Chances are that you won’t marry the first person you date in college, but there is a slim chance you just might!
You also want to make sure that any time you do spend dating someone, is a happy, carefree time.
By writing down a list of potential traits you want in a partner, you can be more particular about who you date.
If sports are a big part of your life, it would make sense to look for someone who enjoys sports as well.
This helps you find someone more compatible with you and your life.
Just remember that relationships work when partners bring their own qualities and strengths, so you might have to budge a little on your list!
Have some non-negotiables, like mine are respectful, funny, open-minded. But don’t turn down a guy simply because you want someone who’s 6’0 and he’s 5’11, have a little wiggle room and enjoy yourself!
Know Why You Want To Date
Relationships don’t have to always lead to marriage, they can be great learning curbs, and help to keep you feeling less lonely during college.
You need to know your motives for dating and make this clear to your partner.
It will never work if you are on different wavelengths, and this will only lead to heartbreak and drama.
Get in the habit of telling people what you want! In business, in dating, in the bedroom (hey, we’re all adults here)!
No one (literally, no one!) is a mind-reader and can’t figure out your desires unless you tell them point-blank.
Set High Standards For Yourself
Feeling homesick and lonely in college can quickly lead you to dating someone who is not right for you, just to feel less alone.
You need to set high standards for yourself.
Don’t focus on a fancy car or looks, but rather look for someone who you can have a lasting and meaningful relationship with.
There are plenty of people in college looking for fun for a night or a week, but nothing more.
Make sure to be strict with yourself, and if you sense any red flags, back away.
Also, absolutely no judgement if you want to just have a fling and one night stands. Personally, I’ve been-there, done-that and they are much less satisfying than the tv shows and movies make them seem (at least, to me; I’d much rather use my vibrator than have a quick fling). Don’t rely on men to have condoms and always be prepared with your own if you’re looking for casual hookups!
Make Your Boundaries Known
You know what you are comfortable with, and it is so important to stick to this. Yes, explore and discover in college, but try to do so in a safe and comfortable relationship and environment.
Don’t fall for the trap of someone showering you with attention, only to be interested in your body.
Pick up any warning signs of someone moving too fast, especially if you are not comfortable with it.
Don’t go past your boundaries for someone else, and take things slow to cultivate a more meaningful relationship if that is what you want.
Just Be Yourself!
College is the perfect opportunity to start again and to just be yourself. There is nothing holding you back, you can create the best version of yourself.
Don’t try and be someone that others think they want from you. You will not be happy. Spend the time you need to get to know yourself, even if this means holding off from dating for a while. You have all the time you need to find out what you love, and what makes you happy.
That is the real journey.
If you happen to find someone along the way who shares in this, then it was meant to be.
You will be able to offer so much more to a meaningful relationship if you are happy with yourself.
For some, this comes naturally, and for others, a little time is needed to grow into your own.
Take As Much Time As You Need
As much as college is there for new experiences, you are there to learn and study.
Do not put pressure on yourself to find ‘the one’ the day that you start classes. You might feel that you are ready to settle down with a certain someone, but you do not need a boyfriend or girlfriend in college.
Give yourself time to be on your own, and to enjoy the college experience by yourself.
There are a lot of pros to being single, so take some time to enjoy them. Once you find the one, there is no going back, and you might feel you missed out on the single college experience.
Waiting to date also helps you be more selective about who you end up with.
This might sound snooty, but it is so important to put a lot of thought into your potential partner. After all, they might be the person you spend the rest of your life with.
Remember To Be Patient With Dating
You and your college partner will probably be in the same boat, and you will need to give each other the space you need to achieve what you set out to in college.
You will be building a life together if you are serious about the relationship, and taking college seriously will be a major building block in your future together.
Both of you will need space to be successful in college, and to go through the college experience of making new friends, being in different groups and clubs, and just everything else that makes college such an amazing time.
If you aren’t prepared to give your partner this space, or if they aren’t giving it to you, it will just cause stress and heartbreak.
Take Care Of Your Needs First
I already mentioned getting a vibrator (and I highly recommend you do!), but this goes beyond taking care of yourself sexually.
Make sure to take care of your mind, body, and soul.
Put yourself first!
The college culture of binge-drinking, partying, stress, and lack of sleep will take a toll on your body and mental health.
You simply can’t make good decisions if you’re in a bad place.
Put your needs (school, sleep, exercise, etc.) above everything else.
Enjoy Yourself
Dating should be FUN!
A lot of woman get stressed out when it comes to men and dating.
That should never be the case. If a guy you’re dating is stressing you out, not giving you the attention you deserve, then take that as a sign that it’s time to move on.
I’m not saying relationships are easy, but if you’re feeling bad more times than you’re feeling good, it’s time to find someone more on your level.
Remember to find people that add to your life, not subtract from it.
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